I have felt all of these this week! I have seen the first as I have continued my study of church and world history as outlined in the standard works. I have felt the joys and pains of working alongside the Savior in this work as my companion and I have found and taught and served. I have also felt the Lord comfort me and bring me discomfort to help me lead a more pure life.

I will focus on the second. As a missionary, we are called to the service of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This is His work and glory- to bring all His children immortality and eternal life. We are blessed to labor with Him. We have seen fruit become both corrupt and sweet as we have seen the choices of those we love take place. A heartbreaking way we have seen this fruit become wild was our three most solid investigators ‘dropping’ us and several more who we had been meeting with regularly. Keyshla, who has been preparing for baptism this coming weekend wasn’t at church and when we texted and asked where she was she told us she needed a break and didn’t feel ready for this step in her life. She asked us not to have any contact with her and we don’t understand why. Within that hour, Brittnay and Drew also told us they were talking and decided this was not the right path for them because of some struggles with living certain commandments. They were also planning on being baptized in the coming weeks. It was painful to see and we will never give up on them, but at this time we must respect their choices. At that point, I thought of the verse in Jacob that says:

“And it came to pass that they went down into the nethermost parts of the vineyard. And it came to pass that they beheld that the fruit of the natural branches had become corrupt also; yea, the first and the second and also the last; and they had all become corrupt. And the wild fruit of the last had overcome that part of the tree which brought forth good fruit, even that the branch had withered away and died.And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: What could I have done more for my vineyard?” -Jacob 5:39-41

We too just cried and cried and asked the same question. But when we felt that we could no longer walk, we decided to RUN! We pressed forward with faith in Christ and remembered that this was His work!

“And these will I place in the nethermost part of my vineyard, whither soever I will, it mattereth not unto thee; and I do it that I may preserve unto myself the natural branches of the tree; and also, that I may lay up fruit thereof against the season, unto myself; for it grieveth me that I should lose this tree and the fruit thereof….. And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard looked and beheld the tree in the which the wild olive branches had been grafted; and it had sprung forth and begun to bear fruit. And he beheld that it was good; and the fruit thereof was like unto the natural fruit.”- Jacob 5:13, 17

I know just as those verses described, giving these beautiful souls time to grow and figure things out will result in bringing forth that good fruit one day! I have great faith in that! We have also seen great joys this week. We have met some wonderful people and there are many more who are coming to know the Savior! Jim is being baptized in a couple weeks and Christy and her daughter Jada just weeks after that! We had so many people come to chrurch and worship with us and even more have been accepting this light into their life! I have seen repentance and change more than I ever have before this week! I have cried with Amy and knelt down with her as she vocally confessed her sins and desire to change before God and then showed that change. I have seen Tyler pour out his bottle of beer and replace it with a cup of soda, I have seen Philip finding answers in his scripture study and excitement about spiritual knowledge, I have seen a beautiful morning text of a random number in the phone asking for the church address then showing up to churhc with their family and ask to meet with us to teach them more that night, I have seen tears of joy and pain and they are all such a blessing! I feel stronger and closer to God this week than EVER BEFORE! I am grateful for the Lord of the vinyard who constantly nourishes us and purges us and strengthens us. The purging is not fun, but is a sanctification process that results in strength and knowledge.

I have not said the smallest part of what I hoped to.

In closing, please read Jacob 5 and contemplate on the great mercy and justice of our LOVING Savior. Jesus Christ WILL NOT give up on us EVER. We must not give up on ourselves or others, ever. As you read, replace the olive tree with your name. Notice how relentlessly and consistently Christ works for our salvation and joy! I know as you do, you will know that it is a joy to repent and it is NEVER too late! I love you all! God bless you!